The Start

Surrogacy is a notion that strangely enough, was a thought I entertained before I even had my own children. I was in my 20's. I have no great explanation WHY I thought about this at such a young age-- beyond I imagined this to be the most incredible way to help another family. Roughly 12 years fly by in the blink of an eye and my 3 little's enter my life. Game. Changer.

If I'm being honest, the past 4 years of our life has been a blur. Ellie's cancer diagnosis truly consumed all aspects of our life, and still does, but to a much lesser extent. It wasn't until this past summer of 2019 that I finally felt like it was semi-safe to start evaluating my own life goals and dreams. I shelved my hobbies, work interests/goals, and even friendships during the most painful experience of my life but I was beginning to venture out of my safe zone.

In December of 2018, a surrogacy ad popped up in my Facebook feed. Huh. Interesting.

As I began reading more closely what this process involved, I realized they may not even accept me to be carrier. I did have 3 uneventful pregnancies, but I did have a child with cancer. Would that disqualify me? Am I too old? No clue.

I got busy filling out the application. Detailing my pregnancies and birth experience. I consented to have them review my medical records. Shared our yearly income. Reviewed our insurance policy. Consented to background checks. Agreed that if we were approved, that we would need to undergo a psych eval. I checked all the boxes not knowing whether or not they would accept me! I didn't invest a lot of time thinking about what it meant to be a gestational carrier/surrogate, the medications you need, what IVF looks like, the staggering number of appointments that would be required. Application complete. I hit submit and hoped for the best.

The first review of my records indicated a possible problem. I wrongfully assumed it would be that my child had cancer. But interestingly enough, that was completely irrelevant. Since we would not be using my eggs or Michael's sperm - our DNA was basically of no interest to them. My uterus on the other-hand, was another story. My team discovered a 5cm fibroid during my pregnancy with Ellie. They're very common for women to have and caused no issues for me. But the Reproductive Infertility Clinics were mildly concerned. They like to see a "clean uterus" meaning no scar tissue or other abnormalities. I agreed to undergo a saline ultrasound to closer examine this fibroid. Obviously since you know I've already transferred the embryo, you can deduce on your own that it proved to be a non-issue. Whew.

This is when shit got real my friends. I.was.approved.